Oh hey, culture-shock!

Meandering into my fourth month here in Florence, I have become quite used to my quaint, Italian lifestyle.  Yeah yeah, sure, I should be habituated... it’s been three and a half months!  

BUT when you think about it...the list of things to which my American classmates and I are now accustomed is insane: World-famous churches and museums? Casual. Two, little siblings shouting at one another in a different language? Normal. Amazing, four-course meals? An everyday occurrence.

Surely, we still come to terms with a little culture-shock from day to day.  However, it is a bit startling the number of things that are now completely routine and commonplace to us. In the face of something that would cause a normal American to stop short in her tracks, double-take, point, and stare, I instead continue on with my life, completely unfazed. 

To help explain this phenomenon, I’ve formulated a little list--a list of the things in my Florentine life that simply would not happen in my hometown of Danvers or at Holy Cross.  Maybe, this little list will serve as a way for you to see how different our lives are here in Italy.  Maybe, it will prove to you how life in Italy has changed my Holy Cross friends and I. If nothing else, maybe it will provide you with a good laugh for the day!

Toto I don’t think we’re in Danvers anymore...

*Your Italian gym has views of the Tuscan hills and countryside; The ceiling is a mural of angels in pastel colored frescoes. I repeat... your gym.

*It is normal for a line of five men to pass you: all with hair slicked into faux-hawks, all with skintight jeans, all with fur-trimmed winter jackets. It is normal for this line of men to be straight.

*In the Italian translation of Harry Potter, a muggle becomes a “babbano” and You-Know-Who becomes “Tu-Sai-Chi”

*It is socially acceptable for a host family to invite their 20-year-old American student to dine-out with them at McDonald’s and later ask her to sit at the kids’ table accompanied by her 13-year-old host brother (who cannot stop crying and appears high-as-a-kite from not showering after water-polo practice), her 8-year-old host sister, her host sister’s six 8-year-old friends... and their happy meals.

*It does not surprise you when your seventy-year-old Italian professor comes to class each day sporting only Dolce and Gabbana jeans, a Louis Vuitton tote, and silky, straight, silver-blonde locks that grace her lower-back.

*It also does not surprise you to see thirty-somethings wearing Abercrombie and Fitch clothing. It’s all the fad in Europa.

*Purchasing a bicycle for the ride to school will, undoubtedly, make your friends jealous.

*Half of your bedroom is still occupied by Barbie dolls, children’s books, and a giant gummy-bear desk light.  You live in an eight-year-old’s bedroom and you’ve been in Italy for months.

*Children, adults, and elderly people share cigarettes as a common bond.  At the bus stop at eight in the morning or at a nightclub at 2 in the morning, smokers are everywhere.  Apparently, lung cancer awareness is not.

*Every meal consists of a primo (a first course), a secondo (a second course), contorni (the vegetables), frutta (the fruit), and sometimes even dessert.

*Pigeons replace squirrels as the creepiest animals on the face of the earth.

*Students at your University class do not take notes; they literally transcribe the professor’s lecture word for word.

*It is casual that you see a different Michelangelo sculpture, in a different museum, every week.

*Your 13-year-old host-brother shaved his eyebrows (he's in middle school, give him a break) and was told, consequently, that he was gay...by none other than his mother.

I wish this was an exaggeration.
Embarrassingly, this is my bike lock.

*You know that if you leave your bicycle unlocked for 10 minutes, it will not be there when you return.  Better yet, if you fail to lock your bicycle with a heavy-duty, 20 Euro lock, it will not be there when you return. Sorry Lauren and Spencer...

*You gain an instant 100-Italian-points and fit in SO much better the second you throw on your leather jacket.

*You spot someone carrying a designer bag that costs a few-hundred dollars.  That someone is not a woman.

*At the gym, women wear as much as possible.  Men wear as little as possible.  When in doubt, bedazzled shirts, bathing suits, and spandex (senza shorts) are always a viable option. 

*When students are consistently 20 minutes late to your University class, the professor will change the class’ start time so that it begins 20 minutes later.  You’re into this idea, right, Holy Cross?

*You pass the Ponte Vecchio, the Uffizi, and the Duomo on your walk to class.

*You find yourself completely incapable of forming proper English sentences or remembering basic English vocabulary.

*You don’t have class on December 8th because it’s a Catholic holiday... and therefore national holiday... in Italy. Can you say “lunch-in-Tuscany-paid-for-by-your-language-school?” 

*You look around (or down) and realize that you are a solid foot taller than every other person standing on the public bus with you. You are only 5’6’’

*You have a nut-allergy, however, your host-family has attempted on various occasions to serve you chestnuts, almond cake, and pistachio pudding... without understanding why you won’t just “try it.”

I'm trying to decide which one is most fitting. Suggestions?

*The heating in your apartment is so expensive that you find yourself wrapped in a blanket, under the covers of your bed, wearing a hooded sweatshirt and scarf...in the middle of the afternoon.

*You fail miserably each time you hunt for a coffee shop for studying.  Better yet, a coffee shop where you don't have to pay for sitting down.  Starbucks, Dunks, make your way to Firenze per favore.

*You cringe when you see that it is raining outside--not because rainy weather is miserable--but because it means that your laundry will be drying on a stand in your bedroom for the next four days.

Yeah, this contraption is actually draped with
my sopping clothing and expected to dry it.

*You have perfected the art of transporting groceries via bicycle basket.

*You discover that your class at the University is cancelled (because of a student revolt) when you see your classroom filled with scattered desks, people sleeping, and abandoned dogs. 'Atta girl, Adair!

*You find yourself regularly comparing the texture and character of the gelato from one gelateria to the next... In all seriousness.